


Healing Hands

by LucindaAM



Series: My Guilty Pleasure One-Shots [2]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: But prepare for angst, F/M, Light Swearing, No Smut, The angst got away from me on this one, Things go wrong on a mission, You are a healer, angsty, fluffy too, not gonna lie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:07:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24885823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LucindaAM/pseuds/LucindaAM
Summary: You have been the team healer for awhile now. You were hired because you can heal yourself almost as well as you can heal the team. You're good at what you do. Too good it would seem, cuz HYDRA's got their eyes on you. When you go down in the middle of a mission, Bucky's worried about you. But it's gonna take more than a little "ra-ra we all love you" from Steve to convince the former HYDRA Assassin that he's worth of your love.Too bad you're a little bit busy dying to add your two cents.
Relationships: Avengers Team & Reader, James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader
Series: My Guilty Pleasure One-Shots [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1997734
Comments: 12
Kudos: 142





	Healing Hands

Clint sighed in relief as the wound sealed up and he bounced back to his feet. “Thanks doc!” He called, running out of the quinjet and back into the fray.

You smiled and waved until he was out of sight and then you all but collapsed onto the gurney. With a shaking hand, you reached up and tugged the zipper of your stealth-suit down. You reached in and pulled at your tank top. You took in the gaping wound bleeding from your side; the exact size and shape of the one you’d just healed Clint of. “That’s not good.” You whispered, reaching over to grab some gauze with a shaking hand.

“I’m coming in hot!” Tony yelled into the comms. The adrenaline spike at the sudden interruption gave you enough energy to shove gauze into your suit and zip it up just before Tony came flying in with a wounded Steve in his arms. You shook your head at both men in a loving manner before Tony saluted you and flew back out into the action.

“What have I told you about wearing the helmet, Cap’?” You asked, reaching over and placing your hand against the bleeding head wound.

“To always wear one when I’m riding my bike.” Steve snarked lovingly.

You sent him a small smile as you concentrated on his wound and ignored the gash you could feel opening up on your own forehead. Thank Thor you’d given yourself bangs just a few days ago. They might not have looked good, but at least they were hiding the wound.

“All done.” You said, stepping backwards. You stumbled slightly and reached a hand out to steady yourself as your vision suddenly swam. You blinked a few times, but Steve didn’t notice. He called out his appreciation as he pounded down the ramp and back into the thick of things.

You kept your hands braced against the walls of the quinjet, trying to clear your head enough to think. This was bad. This had never happened before. You should probably tell someone . . . “We got wounded!” Another voice shouted.

You shook your head once more and prepared to treat whoever was coming in. You would tell them after.

Bucky watched you with a frown on his face as you treated the last SHIELD agent in the med bay. You’d been healing people for the past few hours and had been growing paler by the second. It wasn’t unusual. Healing took a lot out of you. It wasn’t uncommon for you to pass out for days after a big battle like this. But something was different this time . . .

Just then, he saw a drop of something red slide down your cheek before you reached a weary hand up to brush it away. With your hand raised to your temple, he could also see the wet patch of dark red seeping through your suit at your side. Before he could even process what he was doing, Bucky was on his feet, shouting your name.

You jumped as your eyes and the eyes of the rest of the people aboard swiveled to the imposing figure Bucky cut as he raced towards you. You blinked a few times as though trying to clear your vision and then without warning, you dropped to the ground with a dull thud.

Within seconds, Bucky, Nat and Tony surrounded you. Bucky gently reached down and picked up your body, settling you onto the gurney. “What the hell happened?” Tony was asking.

“She was fine!” Clint called from behind Nat.

“Bucky?” Steve asked.

Bruce shoved his way into the crowd surrounding you and quickly attached the monitors to your chest and temples to check your vitals. Bucky said nothing as he reached up and swept your bangs aside, revealing the head wound. Tony gasped. “Looks just like yours did Cap’. . .” He trailed off.

Bucky reached over and gently tugged the zipper of your suit down, pulling your tank top up to reveal the gauze you’d hap-hazardly thrown in to stop the blood flow.

“Looks like mine.” Clint noted, touching his own unblemished side.

“She’s taking on our injuries now?” Tony surmised, glancing at Bruce with an unreadable look. The two scientists had some kind of conversation between them without saying a word aloud and then Tony nodded once.

“Alright! I need to know every injury you got out there!” He said, turning to face the rest of the SHIELD agents. “Stars and Spangles, Itsy-Bitsy, come help log ‘em.”

Steve and Nat took one last look at you lying helpless on the gurney and nodded before racing out to help Tony.

“I’ll fly. I can have us back to base in an hour. Tops.” Clint said, rushing to the front of the jet.

Bruce nodded absently as he pressed a button, sealing off the small section of aircraft before turning back to you. He started stripping the suit off your prone body and Bucky jerked to attention.

Bruce glanced up but barely spared Bucky a look before he went back to what he was doing. “If we’re right, she has more than one open wound on her body, Sergeant. I need to see what I’m dealing with.”

Bucky nodded but couldn’t help the way his fists opened and closed. He’d been one of the people you’d healed. How hadn’t he seen it? How hadn’t any of them seen it?!

Bruce had the bodysuit off you in mere seconds and then he was quickly placing an IV in your arm. Cuts and bruises littered your entire frame. A few wounds were bleeding sluggishly onto the table.

“Sergeant. Behind you. The blood bags.” Bruce motioned hurriedly.

Bucky sprang into action, quickly passing several bags over to the doctor. Bruce took them hand handed Bucky a roll of gauze and some tape. “Patch the small ones.” He instructed as he turned back to you, hooking the blood bags up to you.

Bucky made quick work of your minor injuries. With every one he taped, he would glance at your face hoping for some kind of sign that you felt it; that you were still breathing.

You remained still. Almost too still.

As soon as the blood bags were attached, Bruce dove into action, poking and prodding at your larger wounds. He pulled out a suture kit and began stitching together the more serious wounds.

Behind them, the door opened and Nat snuck in. “How’s she lookin’ doc?” She asked.

Bruce shook his head. “She’s not out of the woods yet.”

Bucky’s hands stumbled as he taped more gauze to your injuries. Nat noticed. Gently, she reached out and put a hand on his shoulder. “I got this Barnes.”

Bucky shook his head almost violently. “No. No. I can do it.”

Nat sighed and pulled him around just enough so that he was forced to look at her. She held her hand out for the gauze and looked at him meaningfully. “I won’t let anything happen to her.” She whispered.

Bucky’s hands tightened on the medical supplies, crushing them in his grip.

Nat’s eyes flicked briefly to his fists before she glanced back up at him. “She needs someone calm, Barnes.”

Nat’s eyes flicked in Banners direction too and Bucky noticed the way he was tensely holding himself. The message was clear. He wasn’t doing any good here.

He nodded tersely and after a moment's hesitation, handed the supplies off to Nat and, without looking back, forced himself out of the room and into the main part of the jet.

Not knowing what to do with himself now that he was out there, and you were still fighting for your life in THERE; Bucky found himself in a quiet corner. He sat heavily in one of the empty seats and stared at his blood-stained hands unseeingly. His mind was too busy reviewing every little detail since the mission had wrapped up. Every agent you’d seen; every small wound you had treated. He should have noticed sooner . . .

He didn’t know how long he’d been there before he felt a hand slap his back comfortingly.

Bucky glanced up in time to see Steve take a seat next to him.

“She’s gonna be alright, Buck.” He said quietly, eyes glancing at Bucky’s hands.

Bucky shook his head. “She was bleedin’ so much.”

Steve clapped a hand on Bucky’s back again. “She’s a fighter. Tougher than either of us.”

A ghost of a smile crossed Bucky’s face. “Yeah. Yeah. A fighter. She did kick your ass last time you sparred.”

Steve chuckled. “Hey now. That wasn’t a fair fight.”

“Captain America himself goes up against an unarmed woman and it wasn’t a fair fight?”

“Course not. She did her freaky healing in reverse on me. I’d like to see you take her on when you’re bleeding from every wound she’s ever healed ‘ya from.”

At the mention of your powers, Bucky’s grin, small as it was, slipped from his face. His eyes fell back to his hands, stained red with your blood.

Steve sighed but didn’t try to distract Bucky any longer.

The rest of the flight home was tense affair for both the super-soldiers. Bucky couldn’t take his eyes of his blood-stained hands, even if he didn’t see them. No, his mind was too busy playing the memory of you collapsing over and over in slow motion. If only he’d noticed you weren’t doing well . . . if only he’d seen the signs . . . if only . . . if only . . .

The feeling of the quinjet touching down was what finally snapped Bucky’s attention back to the present. He stood quickly but before he could take so much as a step in your direction, Nat, Banner and Tony came rushing out of the makeshift room, your gurney held tightly between them. They were out of the quinjet in seconds with a very worried Clint chasing after them. Bucky took one look at Steve who nodded towards the others. “Go keep an eye on her. I’ll get things settled here and meet you down there.” Steve said.

Bucky didn’t need any other encouragement. He shot out of the jet and chased the others down to the med bay.

Nat was glaring at Bucky from one of the seats in the waiting room. You’d been rushing into surgery the second you’d arrived and although it had been a couple of hours, you’d hadn’t come out and no one on staff had come out to tell the team what was happening. Bucky wasn’t sure he could take much more of the silence. Nat wasn’t sure she could take much more of the pacing.

Steve stepped down the hall and put a steadying hand on Bucky’s back.

“Any news?” He asked.

The rest of the team shook their heads. Steve frowned and glanced at his friend. Bucky seemed unusually withdrawn, more so than usual. “Hey, Buck?” Steve murmured, quiet enough that the rest of the team couldn’t hear. “Wanna take a walk with me?”

Bucky glanced at the operating room doors before looking back at Steve. If he was more himself, he might have refused, stating that he would prefer to wait until they knew more about what was happening with you. As it stood though, he was too worried to remember that he was free to make his own decisions. The HYDRA programming, while broken, still shone through in moments like these. He’d heard the underlying order in Steve’s tone and without another thought, he followed it.

Steve led the way down the hall until they were out of sight of the med bay and standing in front of a large window that overlooked the busy streets of New York. “What’s going on, Buck?” Steve asked gently, crossing his arms and leaning against one of the walls.

Bucky unconsciously matched Steve’s pose as he stared out the windows. For a long moment, he was silent.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He finally said.

Steve chuckled. “Come on, Buck. I know you’re not the same guy I met in Brooklyn seventy years ago, but you can’t fool me. You’re worried about her.”

"Maybe.” Bucky said, pondering it over for a minute. “But I’d be worried about any of you.”

Steve shook his head and finally managed to pull a glare out of Bucky. “What, punk? You don’t think that’s true?”

Steve smiled. “I know it’s not true. Just last week Clint was the med bay and what did you do?”

Bucky glanced away, glaring at the beautiful view. “I told him that’s what he got for eating my cookies.”

Steve patted Bucky on the shoulder before resuming his pose as he stared out the window. “You ever tell her how you feel?”

Bucky shook his head.

“Why not?”

Bucky eyed the ceiling before turning his expression back to Steve as though to ask; ‘Really, punk?’

“I’m serious, Buck. Why haven’t you told her?”

“What makes you think I should, huh? She’s not going to want any part of this.”

Steve’s smile slipped off his face and his “Captain” expression took over. “Why would you say that, huh? Any gal would be lucky to have you.”

“Yeah? Monster that I am? I’ve killed people Steve."

Steve was quiet for a moment. “Yeah? I have too.”

“That’s different.”

“How?”

“You killed bad people, Stevie. You were a soldier. It was different.”

“You were one too, Buck.”

Bucky shook his head. “At first maybe. The things HYDRA had me do . . .” Bucky trailed off and let out a shaky breath. Steve shook his head furiously.

“That wasn’t you, Buck.”

“It WAS me.”

Steve took a step away from the wall and rounded on his friend. “It WASN’T you.” Bucky went to argue but Steve pointed an angry finger at him. “You tellin’ me that if I told you to go kill Thaddeus Ross right now, you’d do it?”

“No . . .”

“What about if I told you to take out Sam Wilson, huh? You do it then?”

Surprisingly, Bucky didn’t even pause to think about it before scoffing. “Course not.”

Steve shrugged a shoulder. “You don’t just take orders anymore, Buck. You know the difference between right and wrong and you fight for what’s right. So, no. I don’t think you’re that guy anymore. In fact, I know you’re not.”

Bucky’s expression didn’t change in the slightest, but Steve let out a relieved breath when he saw some of the tension bleed out of Bucky’s shoulders.

Steve patted Bucky on the back and gestured back down the hallway with his thumb. “Any girl would be lucky to have you, Buck. I promise. Only one holding you back now, is yourself.”

Steve left Bucky alone after that, letting the super-soldier have some privacy as he picked up the pieces of his former self-doubts.

Bucky didn’t know how long he stood there, leaning against the wall, watching the traffic drive by below him. It wasn’t until night fell and he was left with nothing but his reflection staring back at him that he realized that he had been crying.

He furiously wiped the tears away before turning and walking back towards the team.

The team was still sitting in the waiting room. Nat and Clint had fallen asleep on a few of the chairs, though Nat would open an eye every now and again and glance around the room for threats before falling back asleep.

Tony and Bruce were in the corner, heads bent over some hologram they were working on. Steve sat in the corner staring at the floor. He didn’t glance up as Bucky slipped into the chair beside him, but he did fling an arm around the ex-assassin's back.

Another hour went by before finally, the doors opened and a weary looking surgeon exited the operating room. The entire team was on their feet in seconds. “How is she, doc?” Steve asked, taking the lead.

The doctor sighed. “I think it’s safe to say that someone in HYDRA knows you have a healer on the team. We found traces of gaseous warfarin all over her. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if everyone who was on the mission today came back positive for the same thing.”

“What does that mean?” Steve asked.

“Warfarin is a blood thinner. It keeps blood from clotting. Her healing powers are, at their base, an accelerated form of blood clotting which can heal abrasions and the like. The warfarin traces negated her ability to heal herself. Frankly, it’s a miracle she was able to do what she did for you. I would say that she exhausted herself doing what she did today. ”

“But she’s going to be okay?”

“Normally, her natural healing does most of the heavy lifting. Because her healing factor was virtually nonexistent, when we went in to close her wounds, we ended up doing more harm than good. It wasn’t until we cleaned out the traces of warfarin that we were able to start sealing her wounds. She lost a lot of blood and will probably be unconscious for some time, but I suspect she’ll make a full recovery.”

“And the wounds?” Tony asked. “How’d she transfer our injuries to herself?”

The doctor shook his head. “We’ll have to look further into it. But at this time I don’t think it will be a reoccurring problem.”

The team let out a collective sigh of relief. Steve shook the doctor’s hand. “Thanks, doc. Is she okay to receive visitors?”

The doctor bit his lip as he glanced around the room. “Normally, I’d say no. But I’ll make an exception. One visitor.” He said holding up a finger. “And keep the noise to a minimum. She needs to rest.”

The team nodded seriously and thanked the doctor as he shuffled back into the operating rooms. Nat took a subtle look at Bucky before she grabbed Clint’s wrist and dragged him out of the waiting room. “Come on, Bird Brain. Now you know she’s gonna be fine, we should get that arrow wound you didn’t let her look at checked out.”

Clint muttered something under his breath, but Nat slapped him upside the head and he suddenly became very agreeable.

Tony and Bruce didn’t even acknowledge anyone else as they put their heads together again and continued their argument over their hologram on their way back to their labs.

“I need to go start on the report.” Steve said, turning to Bucky. “Do you mind sitting with her until she wakes up? Or I can come relieve you in a few hours if you have somewhere you need to be.”

Bucky shook his head almost too quickly. “No. I don’t have anywhere to be, punk. Do what you need to do.”

Steve smiled and left the room leaving Bucky to find your room alone.

You were lying pale and still in bed. You looked almost grey and when Bucky reached out to touch your hand, you were too cold.

Bucky listened to your quiet, steady breathing as he sat silently in the corner, watching you for any signs of distress, but also guarding you from any threat that might enter. Though he knew the tower was safe, he couldn’t turn off the over-protective side of his brain. Especially when it came to you.

Especially right now.

“Ya know, doll. You really scared us out there today. Don’t think I’ve ever seen someone drop as fast as you did.” Bucky whispered into the silence, keeping his eyes glued to the blank wall across from him.

“I think it was hard on all of us because it . . . well . . . it was YOU. You’re safe. You’re always safe. You stay back with Banner when things get really dangerous. You’re the safe place we all come back TOO. And then . . . and then you just weren’t.” Bucky let out a shaky breath and without thinking, reached a hand over and placed it on top of one of yours.

“It’s been hard, bein’ here, ya know.” Bucky said, changing subjects abruptly. “Stevie’s great. I remember how much I loved the punk before the war. He’s always been a good kid. But sometimes he looks at me like he missed who I used to be. I know it’s not his fault, but he does that, and I feel like I’m lettin’ him down somehow. Nat too. I don’t remember her at all. Not really. I know I should though. I know I hurt her . . .”

Bucky squeezed your hand. “You’re the only person here who doesn’t look at me like that. Like they’re expecting someone else or are disappointed with what you’ve got.” Bucky took a deep breath and let Steve’s words from earlier wash over him. He knew he would never be able to confess this to you if you were awake, but he needed to get it off his chest. He needed to be able to say these words to SOMEONE.

“I guess, what I’m tryin’ to say, doll, is . . . well . . . you’re my home now. I feel safe with you. Safer than I’ve felt in a long time. I can be myself around you and I . . . I love you for it.”

Bucky’s eyes squeezed shut and he felt another tear slip down his cheek. This time, he didn’t bother brushing it away.

“Why Mr. James Barnes . . .” You coughed from the bed, trying to add a fancy southern accent to your words. “I do declare.”

You struggled to keep your eyes open as you turned a weak smile up to Bucky’s shocked face. A beautiful red blush coated his cheeks and he quickly turned away. You reached your free hand over and squeezed as tightly as you could.

“You’re my home too, James.” You murmured, trying to ease the tension you could feel building in him. You coughed again and Bucky quickly released your hands to pour you a glass of water from the tray sitting by the bed. He propped you up gently and helped you drink before you shook your head, not wanting any more.

Bucky helped you lie back on the bed. You could feel yourself slipping back asleep and knew you had to address it now or Bucky would slip away again and you weren’t sure you’d ever be able to pull him back so, even as your eyes started to slip shut, you reached for his hand.

“Stay with me, Barnes? I got somethin’ I wanna talk to you about when I wake up again. Hopefully it will end with some K-I-S-S-I-N . . .” You were asleep before you finished your sing-song question so you missed the beautiful smile that lit up Bucky’s grime covered face.

You also missed the way he bent down and kissed your bandaged forehead.

“Don’t worry, doll. I’m not goin’ anywhere.”

Bucky leaned back in his chair, though he kept a tight grip on the hand you’d curled over his.

Steve might be right, he decided. There might be any number of girls who’d be lucky to have him. But Bucky only wanted one. And it looked like, in the end, he’d gotten her.


End file.
